Disclaimer: these are responses to the questions from our faith family. I’ll hit a few questions each day.
1) Can you encourage godly men to be honest and clear when interested in a young woman?
Hey godly men, please be honest and clear when you are interested in a young woman. Unless – that would awaken love before its time (Song of Solomon). Unless – she is only 14 years old. Unless – being “interested” is just another one of your fleeting and fickle emotions that tend to come and go like the wind. Unless – you have not run this by the spiritual community around you. Unless – you are not in a stage of life where you can actually act on those intentions. Unless – you have not washed yourself and dealt with the issues that tend to defile a relationship down the road.
2) Can Christian communities resist the urge of trying to “set up” single folks on dates? Or is this unrealistic?
Probably not. Some of them are just trying to help. Some of them have been more discipled by chick-flicks than the Bible. Either way, you are going to have to learn to walk in wisdom. Blessed people find the way to NOT walk in the counsel of the ungodly, or stand in the path of sinners (Psalm 1). I’m entertaining the option of arranged marriages. They seem to get longer lasting results.
3) Can you please FIND my husband as soon as yesterday? Thanks.
4) Who conned us into thinking we ought to be anxious about marriage, spouse, sex, kids, etc.?
Disney Channel. BET. How I Met Your Mother reruns.
5) Is it okay to not have marriage at the top of your personal prayer list?
I hope so.
6) Is it okay to be single and yet not be “available”?
Yes. Isn’t that what a Christian fish on a car represents?
7) What questions should I be asking about a potential date? Or mate? If you were my dad, what questions would you be asking?
Okay, here’s the running list. I’d love you to add yours in the comments below.
- Is he a disciple of Jesus?
- Does he have a theology?
- Does he have a healthy self-image?
- Is he a man under authority?
- Is he financially free? Can he support you?
- Is he sexually free? Does he have a porn problem? How severe?
- Does he know God’s will for his life?
- What is his prayer life like?
- Has he been filled with the Holy Spirit? Does he live a Spirit-filled life?
- What is his reputation? Within the community? Within the church? With other girls/ladies?
- What is his relationship like with his parents?
- Is he willing to wait for you?
- Does he have self-control in talking about his feelings for you?
- How did his past relationships end?
- Has he been tested?
Post more questions in the comments section. We’ll hit online dating tomorrow.